Friday, August 29, 2008

Conspiracy Corner: Because "Conspiracy Times" and "I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH ALL THIS WHITE GIRLS" were taken.

"I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's work, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be.

We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad.

You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, Goddamnit! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" - Howard Beale, Network

Canadian Bus Beheading, could it be... the Wendigo?

A normal, hard working Chinese immigrant with no priors (certainly not for cannibalism) suddenly kills and eats a man in the middle of the Canadian wilderness? A little strange. On a crowded bus no less, seemingly at random in the dead of night while the man slept.

So far the only statements he has made to the police was to tell them "I have to stay on this bus forever." and he asked the judge at his hearing "Please kill me.". He also seemed to have in his possession a plastic bag containing a human ear, nose, and part of a mouth, presumably from another victim.

He just left his wife and job one day, got on a bus, and started eating his way through the backwoods of Canada. Out on lonely roads. In Wendigo country.

Little weird.

Israeli doctors caught experimenting on non-consenting elderly patients confined to old folks homes. One word, two syllables, sounds like...

So it would seem that illegal medical experiments on unwitting victims is not an exclusive evil to shadowy parts of the US government, the pharmaceutical industry, or Nazi Germany. A group of Israeli doctors decided that old people only had value as subjects of laboratory study. Nice guys.

This case, which started with four doctors and has at last count included at least twelve also brought to light some interesting points about Israeli law. They have (had at the time, a few years ago) no laws concerning what is and is not ethical or permissible in regards to human testing. That's right, can you feel it? Right there in the back of your head. That feeling of "What the fuck?!". Yep, that's it.

After all that was done to their people during the holocaust, the government of Israel did not think it was important to set down guidelines that say you have to get someones permission before preforming medical experiments on them. How fucking odd is that? Wanna hear a better one?

Israel has detailed guidelines in place for medical, pharmaceutical, and cosmetic testing... on animals.

Oklahoma City Bombing Judge vs. The Volcano

Is it not odd that the cowboy judge in the McVeigh trial was in such a hurry to get things over with that he refused to allow key witness testimony and disallowed substantial amounts of evidence? Evidence that suggested Timmy-Boy did not act alone, and that there might have been explosive devices planted in the building (as initially reported by the police bomb squad, FBI, news media, etc..).

It is odd. Especially when you consider his daughter was killed when she slipped into a crack in a steam vent in a volcano. While her dad was overseeing a case against a company owned by the Bush Family (MDC Holdings, one of the largest home builders in America) she was being wined and dined by a CIA agent. True story. MDC was accused of improper financial dealings with a political campaign (guess) and things looked grim.

Then the judges daughter and her boyfriend she had since shortly before the case went to trial go to Hawaii and she falls in a fucking volcano. He is removed from the case due to being stricken with grief (go figure) and one Sherman Finesilver is appointed to the bench in his place. Finesilver, known for his friendliness with the CIA, overseeing a case against a company owned by a former CIA director (George HW Bush), promptly dismisses all charges against MDC. Justice is served!

A few years later Judge Matsch is sitting in on a case relating to one of the largest acts of domestic terrorism in the nations history (perhaps the worst since Canadians burned down the White House in 1814, those fucking Canadians). The case involves all sorts of shady dealings and deep politics. White supremacists getting material aide from Iranian agents working for the FBI and so on. Does any of this make it in? Nope. Does the judge have a clear consciousness about it? Nope. Did he lose any more children to bizarre accidents? Nope.

Its funny how things like that work out.

What the fuck is W's damage?

So what is W's damage? Is he a closet cokehead? A relapsed alcoholic? Or maybe he's just "fecking queer*"? Who knows.

I do know this however...

At a G8 summit a few years ago Bush committed something of an odd gaff, he groped German Chancellor Angela Merkel without permission... while in session... on his way to the bathroom. According to time stamped pictures from that session he was in the bathroom every ten minutes or so. Each time he emerged more red in the face (nose, upper cheeks), more giddy/happy looking, and more unsteady while walking. Hmm. Or the fact that more than one doctor has said he displays all the classic symptoms of someone with an amphetamine problem.

THEN you have all those pictures of him drinking, despite saying he has not touched the bottle since he was 40. My favorites are from G8 (again! what a party group they must be) with him having dinner with Valdamir Putin (then President of Russia). He had several empty bottles of Bud Light sitting in front of him, a dopey expression, and Putin looking at him like he was having a surprise state dinner with a shit-smeared spastic.

AND you have folks like Karl Rove (son of a famous gay/bondage porn star, no, really, and he was "so wild" in college, so wild he never graduated), Jeff Gannon (high-priced gay rent boy, good friend of Karl Rove, fake journalist), Condi Rice (owns a house with a woman whose last name is Bean of all things, shares bank accounts with her, cars, licks her box, etc..), and Scott Mcclellan (famous face in Austin gay clubs and bars, really chumy with Karl Rove until his tell-most book came out) occuping top positions in the White House. Or in the case of Gannon just staying over a whole bunch. Then there are the sworn testimonies of over 70 former classmates of George Jr. who paint him as a no-shit for real pole smoker. Then there is the church he was "Born Again" at... that just happens to be one of those ministries that specializes in "straightening out" gay people (they even have a summer camp to re-educate gay youth!).

Look, I'm not trying to say anything, but maybe W has some problems he needs to address. It is funny though, with every single gay Republican scandal it usually involves someone "focused on the family" that wants to protect our Christian society from the evils of homo's and child predators. So it wouldn't shock me to learn that the man who supported a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage might have a few pink skeletons in his closet.

I say come on out, out of the closet George, you wouldn't be the first. (first female president, I don't care what anyone says. FDR was not fit to run the country in his last 2 terms. she was the lady in charge)

* * *

I bet that's a phrase you never expected to see "Sexuality of Abraham Lincoln". Well, me either.

/End Transmission.

* I don't hate gay people, I just like saying that. Blame him => []


Justin said...

You are correct, people need to get mad. I'm already mad, but my anger makes me a knuckle dragging, hate-mongering, right wing, conservative fuck who no-one will admit to agreeing with. You see my friend, the media has been pumping your audience with the juice of mediocrity for so many years that they have come to believe only a very few things;

1. Getting mad is wrong, especially getting mad at the people who perpetuate the violence and chaos in our streets, they are victims too after all.

2. If you absolutely must get mad, you should find a "creative" outlet for your anger, such as protesting the public servants who are only trying to help.

I agree with you, people need to remember how to get mad. They need to be passionate about turning things around. And they need to stop listening to the mainstream BS that fills their heads from their TV box every day. In other words, get mad, but get mad at the right people. Only when the majority rises up and finally says that they have had enough of the extremist fucks running things will we ever begin to reverse the process of corrossion that has taken a firm foothold in this great nation.

Obama's "change" campaign can't help us, McCain's "anyone but Obama" campaign can't help us, Bush's "I hate the fact that nobody likes me so I'm just gonna do what I want and fuck everyone else" policy hasn't been a great deal of help, so what are we to do when faced with those options?

I agree my friend, getting mad is a good start, but getting mad with no direction or purpose in mind merely serves the greater evil of anarchy, and cannot be tolerated any more that the violent youth who has "gotten mad" at the world and decided to commit armed robberies for a living.

A Fancy Gentleman said...

I got this and thought it was an e-mail from you. I mailed you my response, you knuckle-dragging fuck!