Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Gnomes of Argentina, Missing Playboy Adventurers, Homeland Fascism: Things are back to normal.

Steve Fossett Watch UPDATE: Perhaps Steve reached the 8th Dimension in spirit, or, Why you should never trust people from parallel universes.

So Steve Fossett did depart our dimension after all, only in a depressingly conventional way. While it seems he did survive an impossible crash, he did not survive his injuries, or exposure, or wild animals.

Rest in peace, Steve. May your adventuring spirit inspire others to not just live life on the edge, but shoot past it as fast as possible. Also, may your example prove to people once and for all that aliens regardless of their origin are probably not benevolent.

Argentina vs. The Little People,2933,336750,00.html

A strange creature is stalking remote areas in Argentina's urban sprawl. The residents are frightened, the authorities are concerned, and there is even alleged video tape of them. What has everyone so worried? Gnomes.

It might all be a case of mass hysteria. Then again, film footage of hallucinations is in short supply.

Hoax? Probably, but a weird one. Gnomes? Of all the things to fake in Argentina for attention.

The witnesses who shot the footage in both cases are apparently refusing to leave their homes, for fear of the creatures. In each case the camera gets dropped after a scream is heard off camera. If the videos were not faked by the same people then its an odd coincidence.

It could be a midget, running around the slums at night with a pointy hat and a hand gun. That would make you scream like a girl.

100 Miles from the border and you are still not in America. Welcome to the "Constitution Free Zone" that includes more than 190 Million Americans, or 2/3rds of the population.

These days The Ministry of Homeland Security has a lot on its plate. Between getting in on drug busts (Narco-Terrorism), nabbing hackers (Cyber-Terrorism), and hanging out in airports stealing peoples laptops (Business Commuter-Terrorism) they have a great many fingers in America's pies. Whats next for this well funded and poorly chartered agency? Border security!

Well, they already do that to. ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) is their shiny new border patrol arm, which handles most of their anti-drug efforts. That sounds fair, right? Drug dealers are like terrorists I guess. I mean, they had all those ads that showed kids buying weed were actually funding Osama's efforts to rule the world or something. So thats good, right?

Well it might be, if not for the fact that the border they are defending is one hundred miles deep. See? I got to the point eventually.

One hundred miles. Sort of like saying the Pittsburgh city cops have jurisdiction from downtown Pittsburgh to Fairmont, West Virginia. Homeland Security is claiming this tiny stretch of area from the borders, including the coastlines as its "Constitution-Free Zone" as traditionally border guards could get away with more-or-less what they wanted in searching your vehicle and person for contraband. The borders are kind of a gray area where your rights too privacy, search-n-seizure, and such are concerned.

DHS liked this idea so much, they wanted to share it with everyone who lives within 100 miles of a border or coastline. Which means about 190 million people. The US population is about 300 million. Nice, eh? Already agents have been testing the waters of their new jurisdiction with alarming regularity and success. The best example so far is a bathroom tile salesman who had his car interior torn out by DHS while he sat in handcuffs next to the road. His crime? They wanted to search his car, since he was at "the border" and he would not consent. The "border" was on the interstate a mile south of San Diego.

The ACLU has a handy map showing the new border area's where you can be subject to whatever DHS feels like. I am still trying to get over the name they are calling it... Constitution-Free Zone. I am sure that will change soon, I can't imagine that will prove to be a popular name.

Iranian cargo ship full of harmless building supplies and minerals (weapons grade refined uranium from China) UPDATE! The UN asks US to clean up the mess.

So that Iranian ship carrying radioactive material from China back to Iran that was hijacked by Somali pirates that nobody wants to talk about? Yeah it seems the United Nations is asking the US Navy (strictly on the down low) to quietly dispose of it, as most of the pirates are now dead from radiation poisoning and the ship is hotter that my wife in a black mini skirt.

Yeah, I can see how nobody is talking about this. Nothing newsworthy really. Nothing at all. Pirates. Illegal shipments of uranium for nuclear weapons from China to Iran. China, our good buddies whom we owe so much money to, shipping nuke supplies to Iran, our new enemy of the week in the Middle East.

The Chinese are giving the Iranians enough rope to hang themselves with. How long do you think they will sit on nukes before they get antsy enough to use them? Or dumb enough to sell them to someone? Then we go to war again. War costs money. We have no money. Where do we get money? China.

Man, do they have a good racket going or what?

Nothing to see here people, move along.

+ + +

Back to normal.

/End Transmission.

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